GO FOLLOW @_urban.style right now!!! They the plug, got whatchu need cuh.
I just want to be forgiven
I’m not perfect but I don’t deserve to lose my family before it even starts. I am so sad and my heart is filled with negative feelings at the moment. It is so hard to stay together thru it all when you’re the only one willing to fight. It’s draining me everyday. It’s hurting me it’s killing me. Internal Pain 😓
From the heart
So I’ve made some bad mistakes lately in my life… I don’t like to complain or talk about it because people don’t really care ya know. We all have our own problems going on. My only question is who do you talk to when things are bothering you, when your hurt, or when you feel like you don’t want to even live anymore. Well I’ve been feeling like that for few weeks now. I’ve made some mistakes with my baby’s mother. I’ve put her thru a lot and I’ve done wrong but she always stayed. After a while she left me to be with someone else. After about a year she got back in touch with me and we started back talkin and falling in love again. Then she left again and then came back but this time I got her preg. So after a week things get a little tense between us. I try not to say much when she gets rude with me but it hurts and a person can only take so much. I said some things I shouldn’t have said and I understand I was wrong and I can’t just get mad at things I can’t control. I fucked up once again but now she holds it against me and always reminds me of it every chance she gets and it just hurts me so much because I am really sorry and I know I was wrong but I’m hurting too, I have feelings, I’m human to. I don’t want someone I love to be rude to me and talk to me any kind of way and when I speak up for myself I’m wrong or if I raise my voice or show emotion she claims I’m crazy and have issues and things of that nature. I am a loving caring human being. I’m not perfect, I’m young and I’m still trying to figure things out. I just wish the mother of my child would have my back at all times instead of telling me I’m a piece of shit etc. and just reminding how bad I am. It destroyed my pride, hurt my feelings & just killed me inside. The sad thing about it is that I let her, if I speak up for myself or anything I’m instantly labelled as crazy, have issues, and psychotic and it hurts and it’s tearing me apart… I’m literally drained and honestly I don’t know how to stop the pain or make any of it better. I guess I am a bad person, I guess I deserve to be treated like that. I guess I deserve no respect. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve to live and go on. I’m just so lost and I wish i didn’t make the mistakes I did. When I think about it all I do is break down and cry. I just want to be a good loving father and be with the mother of my child and not have some other guy or a girl helping us raise our child. All I want is a happy heathy baby and family. & her parents don’t like me because of the mistakes I’ve made involving their daughter. I feel like they will always look down on me for what I’ve done and never forgive me for anything. I know they don’t even want her to have my kid and I know she doesn’t want to have my kid. My heart is torn apart, I’m crying as I write this because I’ve brung this hurt upon myself but at the end of the day, I’m someone’s first child, first grandchild, & first nephew. An with what has happened in my life up until now. I feel like I’m not any of that now. I’m nothing to those ppl and I’ll they’ll never understand what it feels like to feel how I’ve felt. I apologize for putting them in a position to feel the way they feel about me. I am truly sorry, I am not crazy, I don’t have issues, & I’m certainly not psychotic. I will be there for my child no matter what anyone thinks or say about me.
